You be the judge: Should my flatmate stop hauling things off the street to deliver our household goods? | Life and style

Case in point: Ruby

If there's any sign that says please pick it up, Amala can't ignore it, even if it's trash. She is a slave!

My flatmate Amala works in costume and set designing, so she's always looking for random things. But when she brings things from the street to our house, I get really annoyed. Why do we need other people's crap? If there is something we need, I would like to discuss it first.

Saw an ugly painting on the road the other week and thought, “Can I hang this?” she said. I hated it. It was a gray landscape in a chipped gold frame. A few months ago she brought home a chair. I asked her if she should be worried about bed bugs, but she said she checked. We had it, but I was too paranoid and cleaned and steamed her with a special steam cleaner she keeps for work.

It only takes one item to affect our entire flat and I don't think it's worth the risk. Once she brought a kettle from the street and it was very dirty, with drawers full of this rubbish inside. She does the cleaning stuff, but I want it to be cleaned on the street before it comes into the flat.

I like to have a cohesive look, decor-wise, and sometimes our flat feels too uneven. I moved after Amala's old flatmate moved out, so I had to adjust to Kookie as it wasn't “my” place. I've been able to put my own stamp on it now, Amala understands, but every now and then we'll butt her off about bringing something up the street.

He is part of these “free stuff” groups on Facebook. That's all good, but she gets distracted and takes things home that we don't need. The other week she brought three dying ferns and palms to our place from the street. If there's a sign that says “please pick up,” she can't walk past it, even if it's garbage. She is like a slave.

Amala also spends a lot of time reselling websites, so if we don't want it or it's not for her work, she thinks she can make money off of it. I would like to get advice before she brings things home. I don't think it's unfair.

Defense: Amala

Ruby is a little paranoid about cleanliness. It's funny being thrifty on the street – that's how I got the sofa she loves

Ruby is beautiful to live with, but she definitely has a problem with my job and all the things I accumulate while doing it. I'm a stylist and also work in set design, so I'm always getting ready to dress up a place (or a person).

I spend a lot of time sourcing props and pieces that I really love, and Ruby understands when there's a random pillar or giant painting in our living room. But she hates it when I go rogue and likes to decorate our apartment with leftovers from work or things I find on the street.

She stopped bringing a nice sofa to our house because she was paranoid about bugs. But the joke is on her, because what she's sitting on now was actually seen on the street a long time ago. I got it before she moved in – it's a soft, yellow velvet sofa that everyone thinks is beautiful.

Ruby loves it. Surely this proves that street thrifting can be a worthwhile endeavor?

I honestly think Ruby can relax because I always clean things before I bring them to the flat. I've got professional cleaning equipment from my job. I steam clean and scrub.

In one of the drawers were some old empty food packets. So it was worth it.

With the plants, I was able to bring them back to life, which saved on buying new ones. I never bring a mattress into our house and I always check for bed bugs.

Nothing is really dirty in our house and Ruby is a little paranoid because she doesn't get it. She works a normal nine-to-five, while I'm cleaning rusty pipes for a photo shoot. It's very different. Sometimes I don't think Ruby understands what I'm going through, but I save us money when I buy free furniture and if she doesn't like something, I won't insist on it being in our flat.

I realize that Ruby and I live very different lives, but furniture thrifting is good fun.

Guardian Readers' Jury

Should Amala stop retrieving 'trash'?
I sympathize with Ruby because I don't like secondhand and am always worried about what bugs it might get. However, I'll give Amala the benefit of the doubt as she confirms everything cleanly. It's her place, and it looks like she's trying to make room for Ruby. If Ruby can't accept this, maybe she should move on.
I will be 68

Amala is a frugal creator, but Ruby tolerates a messy war zone. Amala uses work as an excuse, but it's really a lifestyle choice that may have turned into an addiction. A workshop answer: take all your “street finds” there. Leave the house as a place to relax.
Vanessa, 65

As someone who doesn't hesitate to bring things home from the street, I sympathize with Amala. However, I think she should keep these things in her own space, not on her flatmate. I also find her attitude towards Ruby's lifestyle a bit condescending. Maybe a little give and take on both sides.
Glenn, 61

If Amala shares her living space with others and wants them to feel at home, she needs to consult them about the new furnishings she wants to have.
Kathleen, 37

Ruby seems to have a problem with thrifty furniture in general, and she doesn't like mismatched looks. Amala already cares enough to get rid of furniture that Ruby doesn't like and makes sure it gets professionally cleaned. Ruby should appreciate how much pleasure Amala derives from frugality.
Hannah, 27

Now you be the judge

Tell us in our online poll: Should Amala stop bringing home thrifty items?

Voting closes on Thursday, October 17 at 10am BST

Last week result

We asked if Rebecca had to pay for her own contact lenses.

68% You said Rebecca was guilty
32% You said Rebecca was innocent