When I was contemplating moving from California to Mexico nearly two decades ago, I wondered if it was OK to decide to do something just because I believed it would make me happy.
In many ways, the move didn’t make any sense: I knew no one where I was going, couldn’t speak the language and would be completely out of my comfort zone. While I had some work I could continue to do online, I’d be leaving my main job, which came with a steady salary, great health insurance and retirement benefits.
A handful of close friends told me this was a foolish idea. My kids — and my heart — said go.
As I pondered what I wanted the future to look like, I realized my confusion was a result of years of conditioning about how we “should” decide, what we’re “supposed” to do, and what the “right” thing is. Personal happiness wasn’t a big part of those formulas as far as I could tell. It fell way down on the list of considerations.
DON’T MISS: How to be more successful with your money
Ultimately, I chose what I thought would bring me the most joy, and I haven’t regretted it since. The happiness I’d felt vacationing in Mazatlán the previous year was undeniable and irresistible. I knew I had to do whatever it took to make that part of my daily life.
I’ve been in Mexico for 18 years, retired for the last six. Here’s what I’ve learned about happiness.
Happiness is a mindset
There will of course be days and times when happiness feels impossible. My upcoming root canal comes to mind.
But I’ve learned that the more you create a foundation of happiness as your go-to mindset, the easier it becomes to not sweat the small stuff, and to see with a broader perspective.
“I chose what I thought would bring me the most joy, and I haven’t regretted it since,” Blaser says of her decision to move from California to Mexico.
Courtesy of Janet Blaser
Living in Mexico, the “small stuff” is pretty much constant. If you don’t learn to take a deep breath and move on, you won’t last.
The power goes out (again). Your patio floods (again). The bank machine eats your card on a Sunday (again). All you can do is keep on keeping on, doing your best to maintain a positive attitude and remember that this too shall pass.
Happiness is a conscious choice
You’re the one who decides to be happy, or not.
I’ve learned to embrace the concept of mañana in Mexican culture. You hear this word all the time, usually accompanied by a shrug and exaggerated eye rolling. It boils down to this: If something can’t happen today — the plumber coming, hearing back from your bank, a store being open — it’ll happen mañana.
It doesn’t literally mean whatever it is will happen tomorrow. It might be the next day. Or, quite possibly, the next week. It’ll happen when it happens. And that’s OK.
For our tense, tightly scheduled, often frantic American minds, this can be one of the most difficult things to adjust to about living in Mexico. The paradox is that it’s also one of the most attractive things about living in Mexico.
If we let it, adopting this mindset can make us happy as we learn to let go of All. That. Stress. Eventually, we can say “mañana” with a big smile and mean it. We learn to choose to be happy even when things don’t go as planned.
Less financial stress allows for more happiness
My regular expenses here are low compared to what I imagine I’d pay to live a similar lifestyle pretty much anywhere north of the border.
The rent on my adorable little two-bedroom house with a small yard, enclosed courtyard and rooftop patio is only 9,000 pesos a month, or about $480. I pay about $19 a month for my cell phone plan with free international calls. The 5G internet in my house runs about $30 per month. Water is included in my rent, trash pick-up three times a week is free and my electric bill hovers around $12 a month.
“It’s a relief to be able to afford the things I need (and want!) on my modest fixed income,” Blaser says.
Courtesy of Janet Blaser
I was curious recently about how much I spend on food. I diligently saved every receipt from food purchases for a month: grocery stores big and small, the weekly outdoor market where I get produce and a local bakery that’s my source of bread, croissants, and English muffins.
Everything added up to roughly $320 dollars — plus about $40 for wine. That’s without denying myself anything I wanted to buy. It’s a relief to be able to afford the things I need (and want!) on my modest fixed income.
Happiness comes from family and community
In Mexican culture, family and togetherness are all-important. Examples are everywhere: in the multiple generations eating at restaurants, relaxing at the beach, or celebrating public holidays. Teenagers help Grandpa walk through the sand and pre-teens take turns holding a sleeping baby at a parade. During the Christmas and Easter holidays, people take two or more weeks off work to visit family and just hang out.
Neighbors are generally friendly, helpful and curious. This past Mother’s Day, I was on an early morning walk when I stumbled upon a 10-piece mariachi band, in full costume, hired by a local family to play in front of their mother’s house. I stopped to listen, entranced.
One of the 20-something granddaughters of the matriarch came over and asked if I was a mother. When I said yes, she hugged me and said, “Congratulations!” Then she invited me to sit with them and enjoy the music and a simple breakfast of bread and hot chocolate.
This kind of warmth has been an education for me, especially juxtaposed against American culture where crying babies are routinely scowled at, elders often seem invisible and families live and grow apart.
Blaser tries to see her grandkids, and her adult children and their spouses, as often as possible. In between visits, they stay connected with video calls and more.
Courtesy of Janet Blaser
Even though I’m thousands of miles away, one of my intentions this year is to see my adult children, their spouses, and my grandkids more often. I keep an eye on flight prices and have found a reliable house- and cat-sitter. I have savings set aside specifically for this.
In between visits, video calls allow us to “see” each other. I can be present for birthdays, Friday night pizza with the grandkids and more.
The simple but valuable takeaway is that the more I know them — and they know me — the happier I am.
‘I’ve learned to do little things for myself that lead me toward joy’
I’ve endeavored to make happiness a key factor in making decisions — just as I did when I made the initial leap to move to Mexico.
“Will this make me happy?” is my bottom line.
I’ve learned to do little things for myself that lead me toward joy. A well-made espresso, a phone call with a friend, some “retail therapy” — these small choices bring a smile to my face and remind me that it feels good to feel good.
Nearly two decades after making a move many called “foolish,” I’m living the life I dreamed of, with a level of consistent happiness I’d never experienced before.
Janet Blaser is a writer who has lived in Mexico since 2006. A former journalist in California, her work now focuses on expat living. Janet’s first book, “Why We Left: An Anthology of American Women Expats” is an Amazon bestseller. Follow Janet on Instagram and Facebook.
Want to be more successful and confident with your money? Take CNBC Make It’s new online course. Our expert instructors will help you master your money and discover practical strategies to boost your savings, reduce debt, and grow your wealth—in a way that works best for you. Enroll in “Achieve Financial Wellness: Be Happier, Wealthier & More Financially Secure” to start your journey to financial freedom today! Get a 30% discount with the coupon code EARLYBIRD until September 2, 2024.
