Our funniest and dirtiest experience at customs

Whenever I was in Moscow, my ex-wife would ask me to buy a special salami and bring it to Switzerland for her. I do this every time, not knowing the customs regulations. One day when I was returning home, I was caught at customs at Zurich airport and had to open my suitcase. The customs officer told me that I was not allowed to import any products from Russia that contained meat. The sausage is missing. At least I don't have to pay a fine.

Daniel Huber

I once bought an electric guitar in Germany and was so excited to smuggle it across the border in a car – rock star style. But because I was so scared (obviously, I'm no rock star), I reported it to customs in exemplary fashion. Inside I talked about the guitar with the cop, and he was so happy with the guitar I bought that he said, “Oh, you know what? You don't have to state that. It just fits.”

Michelle Kraus

On a road trip across the United States, we started in Niagara Falls and traveled through Canadian soil to Detroit. When we arrived at the Canadian border, the customs officer saw our Swiss passports and asked us if we spoke French. “Bien sûr,” I said confidently, but it took a long time for the twenty to drop as he kept mumbling “deux-trois, deux-trois.” By “deux-trois,” he doesn't mean “two or three,” but “De Troit”—Detroit!

ralph to us

In 2021, when COVID-19 was still a big issue, I flew to Canada and went to school there for six months. My study permit (only required because of COVID) is not with me yet, but I still need to get it approved in Vancouver. So I had to enter the country before I could enter the country. The border had just opened a few days ago and I was so scared that I wasn't allowed in that I muttered something during the border investigation. The guy at the counter was super creepy and thought I had something to hide, and then I was taken to a room full of people who were obviously being taken away for racial profiling. They were all wearing headscarves and all were men. Luckily, a very nice Canadian asked me there and I half-cryed the whole truth. I got through it, but I had never bled so much in my life.

Sabeth Vera

Most of the time, my transit went smoothly. The question “Do you have it in stock?” was not the biggest obstacle – even with six liters of apricot liqueur from South Tyrol. One time, a co-worker ordered a coffee machine, and the large box in the back seat made customs officials suspicious. After showing us the bill for the cheap device, he wordlessly walked around the car, checked our shopping bags, looked at a bottle of wine and simply said “Gin!” Let's continue.

Niklas Helbling

I visited Qatar a few years ago. Doha Airport is a popular connecting airport, so about 90% of the passengers on my flight did not need to go through customs and started their journey to the Far East. Apart from a few locals dressed in traditional thaw, I was the only European to actually enter the country. I was like a nuisance to my coach. So it wasn't surprising when I was the only one waving away. Of course, I was a little nervous, but calmed down – after all, I didn't have anything illegal on me, so there was nothing to worry about…at least that's what I thought, but I did math without my sister, who thought Play a “funny” prank on me. I don’t know what she was doing, but she happily hid dozens of little pieces of paper in my luggage. As the stern-looking customs officer began to carefully unpack my suitcase, more and more suitcases appeared. They were folded and he found them one by one, unfolded them and stacked them on a small table next to him. I had to stand a few meters away and couldn't see everything clearly, but the piece of paper said “Ha, you definitely didn't expect that!” or “How many are still hidden?” I don't know if this customs officer is always so thorough, or if it's these he The hidden information he couldn't understand irritated him, but I stood there for probably 20 minutes while he turned through everything and piled it next to him. . The peak was probably when he started taking apart my socks and even found little pieces of paper inside. I've rarely been so embarrassed by something, but at the same time I'm excited to see how many more things will come to light. There are many. Lots and lots. Finally he asked for an explanation, but since I was almost as confused as he was, I couldn't really give him one. I stammered some prank about my sister and he must have thought I was a complete idiot, but eventually he let me go. But one thing is for sure: my sister would have never imagined that her “glorious” prank would have such a positive impact. The purpose is probably to annoy me a little or make me laugh when I open the package. To this day, she loves to tease me about this story.

Lucas Zollinger

When I was young, a friend and I rode our bikes to France. In Besançon, we know nothing better than being in the market for switchblade knives. Hence, those blades we see in gangster movies that pop out at the push of a button. These things (which are banned in this country) actually come back across the border with us. Perfectly concealed in the bike frame (under the seat). I have never sweated so much on a bike.

Daniel Schulte

My parents always bought wine from Italy. At customs, they become part of the super Bünzli family, smiling and playing Ländler music, hoping they won't be asked if they have anything to declare. It often works.

Killian Marty