Of course there are roses to accentuate the bulge in the pants

Bachelor

This damn “Bachelor” is already on its 13th season! Rosen-Postler-Dennis was very close from the start of the game.

follow me

Dearest viewers, let us reflect together and ask ourselves a question: Do I really think I am interesting? Do I want to see a movie about my life, or talk about it on TV, or travel around and give lectures about myself? No, right?

Because even though we may be very happy, hobby-loving little creatures, on average we are still average. Or, to paraphrase Adorno: there is nothing interesting in a mediocre life. That's not a bad thing at all, I think on average you're most likely to be happy at home. Let someone else be the clown. For example, the new bachelor and his companions.

Bachelor Dennis has a very good opinion of himself: “I find that I am far from boring and mediocre,” the financial advisor said during a brief Q&A with us. The philosophical principle of “hindsight” is very important to him. He tends to be self-critical and question his own words and actions “with the benefit of hindsight.” Why not “advance”? Stupid question: Because then of course he wouldn't be a bachelor!

Dennis, by the way, used to be a postman. Now he's basically a rose mailman. He goes to the gym four times a week and his muscle mass is like his superhero suit because he used to be a “chnochegrush” who was bullied but with muscle comes respect. He always wears a suit “with a touch of humor”, misses the “butterflies” in his belly that are attracted to death, and uses his wings to fan the heat of love for him. Of course, he is also very serious about his work. Thai TV Search for Love, there is no such thing as fame, to be honest, absolutely not, fame sucks!

So everything is business as usual.

as always?

and.

From Milan to Thailand! Candidate Anna lives near Basel but is studying acting and modeling in Milan, which is why she's wearing a Vespa outfit.Picture: CH Media

There are tattoos, beaks and sword nails. One of the tattoos sarcastically screams “intangibil”, or “untouchable” in Italian, in giant font and adorns the torso of Ms. Irene, an influencer from canton Thurgau. After all, when it comes to women in television She should never be underestimated. Among other things, he had a real star named Mona Vetsch born. Erin wears a T-shirt with a tattoo that reads “Bachelor's Wife” because her ambition is to get married. “I like ambitious women,” Denise said.

Erin gives the bachelor a “Bachelor's Wife” T-shirt and a garter belt, which of course requires her to take off both items of clothing.Picture: CH Media

On the other hand, Masha, a farmer and equestrian from Olten, is virtually unaffected, i.e. still a self-confessed virgin, who drives up with a tractor and a lasso and wonders what her parents did while raising her What's wrong: “I'm muddy. “

And there are those that are not fake, or Laura, whose mantra is: “I don't pretend to be fake.” I deceive myself, you deceive yourself, do we deceive each other? So how exactly does it work? Is the fake self like a replicant? Like in Blade Runner? Laura also discovered that she was very “interesting,” which she still had to prove.

Martha is a trained farmer with a touch of the Wild West.Image source: ch media

On the other hand, Venance, a Cameroonian adopted in the Valais, is a dance instructor, stuntwoman and movement genius who ensures with her brilliant dialect that there is an essential “Tschuggerization” of our outdated dating format. Sadly, the ending of “Tschugger” has been filmed and you can no longer use Venance there. Her favorite dates were at the gondola, complete with hotpot. No, not Raclette, traitor!

Dennis seems profound.Picture: CH Media

Denis thought she was a “grenade, super sexy”, but the beautiful Sidney from Graubünden (not to be confused with Sydney) told him to move on, and this is how it happened: Denis invited four ladies to eat “chicken”: “I haven't” so far, never had chicken. “Is it really true? There's a rooster in a basket but not a chicken in the Chörbli? An earth-shattering tragedy! No, of course not, I'm the interrogator and I'm sorry, he meant “pool date”.”

So the ladies blindfolded him, put a heart rate monitor on him, and then they had to increase his heart rate as efficiently as possible. Lo and behold, after Sidney finished his mission, not only was his pulse at the top, but something was also happening in his swimming trunks, “e chlini erregig” and Dennis was feeling “butterflies”, “goose hat”, it was “e horny” Experienced.”

Die “chlini Regig”.Picture: Screenshot 3+

And he rejected Sidney so rudely when they first met: She really wanted to travel around the world on a hippie bus, maybe to Sydney. The most lovable people in Graubünden are like this, close to nature and nostalgic. , wild and cosmopolitan, flying souls, you just have to love them.

In Charge: Sidney in a red bikini.Picture: CH Media

When she moved into Love Camp, Sidney gave Dennis a minivan. “Sone Wältreis in the van is not my purpose in life right now,” he said in disgust, and turned away from her. That wouldn't happen to him again as he was immediately given a rose to cover the bulge in his pants. Brilliantly. You're often wiser in hindsight.

Mabel is pronounced like “ma belle.”Image source: ch media

In addition to Sidney and Venance, there are several other charming young women, such as the kind-hearted Michèle from Zurich, who has lived in Los Angeles for five years, wants to be an actress, and gives Denis a crystal as a token of appreciation. “Clear decision – “Maker”. And Mabel from Lucerne, she is a model by profession and her beauty makes not only Denis but also the ladies marvel. For some people, creation means high things that are less than average.

This is Michelle, an expert in magic stones, yoga, and performance.Image source: ch media

Six new ones will be added next week. I bet this would be “awkward” and a riot? At some points, Winans will exclaim, “I don't care what happens, don't fuck me!” as she longs for a romantic fondue on a gondola, culminating in a stunt-laden pas de deux. We'd love to see that.

The Bachelor airs every Monday on 3+.