ben33
The first time I saw Jack across the room, at a strange event, I was completely paralyzed.
I didn't come out as transgender until I was 29 years old. I've always felt like a man, I've always been attracted to other men, but for a long time I was closeted and hated myself. I had boyfriends throughout my teens and 20s, but most of them never told me they were trans. I thought I had to hide a part of myself to live a romantic life. I had a boyfriend who referred to me as “he,” but only in the bedroom. In public she had to act like his girlfriend.
By the time I turned 20, that lifestyle had become unsustainable. After much thought, I had a mastectomy, breast reconstruction surgery to create a more masculine appearance, knowing full well that the men I had previously dated would no longer like me. But then I met Jack.
One of the first and most important things to mention about Jack is that he is very attractive. I saw him for the first time across the room, at a strange event, and was completely transfixed. She has cute puppy eyes, flowing hair, and tiny earrings. He is also trans and has been taking testosterone for a few years.
Over the next six months we developed a sexual friendship, but I had doubts. Jack had a reputation for being quite promiscuous and I didn't want to be another place in his bed. I was also a little apprehensive about sex at the time. I haven't dated in years and previously only had sex with cisgender men. Finally Jack confessed his feelings to me and we left.
I didn't have to worry, because sex – after all – was electric. In my experience, the average cisgender man only knows how to do three things in bed. There's a lot of jackhammering and about five minutes of foreplay if you're lucky. But having sex as two transsexuals is more open and expansive. I think I can tell Jack anything from my imagination and there won't be any judgment. There are so many imaginative structures…the possibilities seem endless.
Jacob32
Before I met Ben, I had a lot of casual sex, but mostly I didn't feel complete.
I remember looking Ben in the eyes in a pub a year ago and feeling a little weak in the knees. He was wearing a shiny velvet shirt that had had several buttons removed to reveal his chest. I managed to get a follow up date at the end of the night. We watched The Lord of the Rings together and then talked for a while about how sexy Aragorn is. We both agreed that there was something joyful about dwarves carrying big, shiny swords.
We had undeniable chemistry, but for the first six months I was too shy to tell Ben how I felt. In retrospect, I'm grateful we didn't rush it. The year before I met Ben, I had a lot of casual sex, but when I was in the middle of the act, I didn't do it. Feel complete. I came out as a trans man, but often struggled to live fully in my body. The surgery made me feel more at home, but Ben's friendship also helped because he understood me. When we were watching movies on his couch, I was gaining inner confidence.
In the end, I felt that if I didn't declare my true feelings to Ben, I would go crazy. I remember murmuring, “I want to be with you,” but he had to ask me to repeat it very quietly, which was painful, but he felt the same way. The surprising thing was that I felt completely present when we kissed. Every feeling became more acute.
Being in a relationship with another transsexual is amazing because we are both very fluid when it comes to seeing each other's bodies. I don't want to have surgery to change my genitals, but I want Ben to see my genitals as male. When you are transgender, you have the ability to reframe the way you view your body and that is very liberating. When I look at Ben's body I notice his grace and grace, but I also see how masculine he is. I find it beautiful.
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