Funny parents raise happier kids

UNIVERSITY PARK, Pa. — Perhaps “dad jokes” are more powerful (and important) than we’ve realized all along. An exciting new study for parents concludes that humor could be the missing ingredient in the recipe for effective child-rearing.

Picture this: It’s a typical weekday morning. You’re trying to get your kids ready for school, but your five-year-old is adamant about wearing her princess costume to kindergarten, while your seven-year-old has suddenly decided he’s allergic to breakfast. As the clock ticks and your blood pressure rises, you have two choices: lose your cool or find the funny. According to this groundbreaking research, choosing the latter might not only save your sanity but could also build stronger, more positive relationships with your children.

The study, published in the journal PLOS ONE, reveals that a whopping 71.8% of participants agreed that humor can be an effective parenting tool. However, it’s not just about cracking jokes or pulling silly faces. The research suggests that parental humor could be a secret ingredient in fostering cognitive flexibility, relieving stress, and promoting creative problem-solving and resilience in both parents and children.

“Humor can teach people cognitive flexibility, relieve stress, and promote creative problem solving and resilience,” says Dr. Benjamin Levi, professor of pediatrics and humanities at Penn State College of Medicine and senior author of the study, in a media release. “My father used humor and it was very effective. I use humor in my clinical practice and with my own children. The question became, how does one constructively use humor?”

This question led Levi and his team to embark on a pilot study to explore people’s views on humor as a parenting tool. They surveyed 312 individuals between the ages of 18 and 45, asking about their experiences of being raised with humor and their thoughts on using humor in their own parenting.

More than half of the participants said that being raised by parents who used humor, and an overwhelming majority said they either use or plan to use humor with their own children. Perhaps the most striking finding, however, was the correlation between a parent’s use of humor and the quality of their relationship with their children.

Of those who reported that their parents used humor, 50.5% said they had a good relationship with their parents, and 44.2% felt their parents did a good job raising them. In stark contrast, among those whose parents didn’t use humor, only 2.9% reported a good relationship with their parents, and a mere 3.6% thought their parents did a good job.

These numbers paint a compelling picture of humor’s potential impact on family dynamics. But what exactly does “humor in parenting” look like? It’s not about being a stand-up comedian or constantly cracking jokes. Instead, it’s about using wit and playfulness to navigate the often turbulent waters of child-rearing.

“There’s an interesting parallel between business and parenting, which are both hierarchical,” notes Lucy Emery, the study’s first author and a pediatrics resident at Boston Children’s Hospital. “In business, humor has been shown to help reduce hierarchies, create better environments for collaboration and creativity and diffuse tension. While parent-child relationships are more loving than business relationships, stressful situations happen a lot when parenting. Humor can help diffuse that tension and hierarchy and help both parties feel better about a stressful situation.”

Imagine transforming a battle over bedtime into a silly game or turning a vegetable standoff at dinner into a playful challenge. These moments of levity not only ease immediate tensions but could also build lasting positive associations and problem-solving skills.

However, the researchers are quick to point out that not all humor is created equal. The study is a first step in understanding how to use humor constructively in parenting and identifying situations where humor might be risky or inappropriate. After all, sarcasm or mockery disguised as humor could potentially do more harm than good.

As parents navigate the complex landscape of raising children in the 21st century, this research offers a refreshing perspective. It suggests that sometimes, the best way to handle the serious business of parenting might be to lighten up a little. By embracing humor, parents might not only make their challenging job more enjoyable but also foster stronger, more positive relationships with their children that last well into adulthood.

So, the next time you’re faced with a parenting challenge, consider reaching for your funny bone instead of your frustration. It might just be the most effective tool in your parenting arsenal. After all, in the words of Mary Poppins, “In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun.” And now, science seems to agree.