In recognizing the dregs of press unprofessionalism, journalistic sloth, and generally deserved media mockery, we have created “The Golden Remington Awards,” a nod to the olden days when hard-scrabble hacks committed actual journalism and hammered out dispatches on those hefty wordsmith devices. With an eye to that past of muckraking reporting and shoe leather investigation, we acknowledge those who fail today or report in an audacious fashion.
These are the inauspicious nominations, in several categories, to be honored at the end of the year for the 2024 Remmy Awards.
Distinguished Public Service
Fresh off of his nomination for his lurid Stormy Daniels fan-fiction monologue, MSNBC’s resident socialist was back at crafting deeply odd renditions of the news. This time around, he waxed rhapsodic in describing Donald Trump allegedly falling asleep in the courtroom.
Apparently, O’Donnell feels his audience craves this tortured prose, delivered in his trademarked halting delivery and mannequin-stiff countenance. Seriously, we have to question who it is tuning in for this charisma vacuum of a pundit.
Lawrence O’Donnell has legitimately lost his mind. pic.twitter.com/tLD3bnHIaB
— Steve Krakauer (@SteveKrak) May 15, 2024
Distinguished Breaking News
Extending the disturbing on-air admissions at MSNBC during the Trump trial, we have one of the network’s resident legal experts, Andrew Weissmann. The mousy former barrister exposed his imbalanced approach to this court case by raving about the job performed by Judge Juan Merchan. While most objective observers saw no shortage of objectionable decisions made by Merchan, Weissmann was positively swooning over the judge’s performance. That is not a case of being hyperbolic; Weissmann embarrasses himself with this fan-girl level of “analysis.”
MSNBC “Legal Analyst” Gushes About Judge Merchan After He Rigs Jury Instructions Against Trump
“I have like a man crush on him. He is such a great judge. If you looked in a dictionary for judicial temperament, that’s what you would get.”
MSNBC is gross.pic.twitter.com/r00BUIX4gm
— Kyle Becker (@kylenabecker) May 30, 2024
Distinguished Investigative Writing
Canadian writer Forster has a polarizing book out that addresses the topic of race in America – because people do not address that subject nearly enough, we presume. In the course of writing “Seven Shoulders,” Sam took a unique position to collocate evidence of the problem in the United States. In an understandably now-deleted post, the extremely-white-in-appearance Forster described his process.
Last summer, I disguised myself as a Black man and traveled throughout the United States to document how racism persists in American society.
It is of little surprise that there was significant pushback from many that in order to get a sense of the racism in our country, this Canadian resorted to wearing blackface.
There are a few things about my book that I want to clarify.
Some people have suggested that my intention in writing Seven Shoulders was to “understand” what it’s like to be someone of a different race. That is not true. I wasn’t trying to “understand” the experience of being a…
— Sam Forster (@ForsterSam) June 2, 2024
Distinguished Feature Reporting
Remember when, years ago, Godwin’s Law was frequently invoked on social media? This was done to mock and dismiss the leftist tendency to make the comparison of Republicans and Nazis with the barest of provocation. Well, this tendency to resort to Third Reich equivalency has roared back to life with the dissolving fortunes of Joe Biden and the supreme fear that Trump could win reelection.
As a result, the minds at TNR went with a full Godwin issue, as they petitioned over half a dozen writers to contribute thair Trump nightmare scenarios, describing what they foresee under a second Trump term. Or should we say, “Trump regime”? The likes of Brian Stelter, Ruth Ben-Ghiat, Michael Tomasky, and others deliver their fever-dream-level fears, all delivered under the cover image of Trump-as-Adolph. It is presented with all the subtlety of a hand grenade tossed into a porcelain shop.
“What American Fascism Would Look Like
It can happen here. And if it does, here is what might become of the country.”https://t.co/w6evje5Hnh— Opa Jones (@Phatharrius) May 23, 2024
Distinguished Explanatory Reporting
Recently, there was a bizarre story about a Singapore Airlines flight enduring severe turbulence, leading to multiple on-board injuries and one elderly passenger dying. As we now understand, anything this adverse can only be credited to one thing: Climate Change.
Despite the fact that turbulence-related injuries are microscopic in nature (“Out of millions upon millions of flights, turbulence has caused 185 serious injuries from 2009 to 2023,” we are told), it is called definitive that our climate is to blame.
A 2023 study found that severe clear-air turbulence increased by more than 50% over the North Atlantic Ocean from 1979 to 2020.
More than blaming this on the climate, there is a more scientific reason for the increase in turbulence reports: Over that same period of time, you saw roughly ten times the amount of transatlantic flights taking place. This would mean the incidence rates have been plunging, in truth.
Climate change and turbulence: Experts weigh in after death on Singapore Airlines flight https://t.co/pqY0CMxMVJ via @nbcnews
— Josh Mankiewicz (@JoshMankiewicz) May 22, 2024
Distinguished Local Reporting
Ms. Ranquin, who counts herself as a “multi-skilled journalist,” contacted the office of Governor Ron DeSantis to inquire about the decision to change the color scheme of the lighting on a bridge span in the area. Apparently, there was a strong possibility of a scandal attached to such a decision, based on the line of questioning regarding the process of approval for these changes and whether this might override county approval/authority.
Malique also had another question about the significance of the coloring chosen for the lighting change.
“What is being celebrated with the red, white, and blue display?”
If you want to see the best question that I’ve received in weeks, check out the one I highlighted in this email about the @MyFDOT bridge lighting from @MaliqueRankin over @10TampaBay.
An absolute all-timer, tbh.
*Old Glory background added for effect* pic.twitter.com/uEkq5AjAfG
— Jeremy Redfern (@JeremyRedfernFL) May 16, 2024
Distinguished International Reporting
A Canadian woman walking her dog and hound made an astounding discovery in the woods near their neighborhood. In a very arbitrary fashion, they stumbled across dozens of cooked chickens dumped in the wilderness.
The discovery of over 40 rotisserie chickens is a complete mystery, and the residents are concerned it could have attracted bears close to their homes. Many mysteries abound about this report, such as why they were dumped, who was behind this mass dumping, and why it was deemed a news item by the CBC.
This is why we can’t have nice things!
Rotisserie mystery: Yukoner’s dog finds pile of cooked chickens dumped in woods | CBC News https://t.co/ucHnEIJcpM
— Carpe Ducati (@CarpeDucati) May 24, 2024
