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big ben
Hannah thinks Laura is terrible. Laura found me a Bünzli.
I thought, it can't be that bad. Wrong, I even think it has some merit. Sex can be had anywhere, at any time of the day or night. That's what fate thinks. If you believe in fate. I don't do that. But it's fine now.
I have my own shared apartment. Laura had to leave her apartment for a week, the bathroom was remodeled so she could stay in it, and a Toi-Toi was put in the front of her house, but there were people inside her four walls at all times. Just a few days if she can come to me. For the reasons stated above, I immediately said yes. And it’s only a week. It can't be that bad.
I have no experience. I have never lived with a woman except Hannah. That's it for two people. Of course, there were other people in the shared apartment, but it was never two people together.
Hannah…that's another question. Let's get straight to it. The first is the housing disaster.
Does she think she's Scrooge McDuck?
Laura moved in on Sunday night. Came with a monster suitcase. I don't know what you need for a week, she's still looking for a job so she doesn't really have to go anywhere, but hey I don't want to be unnecessarily judgmental here, if she needs all of these things to live then she should get these Bring everything.
On Monday, half of the suitcases were strewn across the floor of the apartment. I'm back from get off work. Laura's Stuff: Everywhere. I took a few breaths, it wasn't bad, and I told myself that at least there wasn't a sweaty sports bra on the bed.
On Tuesday, not only was all her stuff in disarray, but money was everywhere. Who still has cash today? ? Laura, she thinks cash is better so you spend less. (Of course, if you spread it around the apartment instead of keeping it in your purse…)
On Wednesday, the refrigerator was so full it was almost impossible to close. I hate a full refrigerator. I hate when merchandise goes bad. I told Lala. It didn't go well. She just means well. As a thank you. There was an argument. So no more sex on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Because Laura didn’t want to have sex after the argument—not for days. FML, I think.
Hannah hates Laura
Well, enough hate has been said. But I met Hannah on Friday night, just after Lala returned to her apartment. I drank too much at the bar. But it’s also been a rough week. I had to drown my frustration—and get rid of it. Hannah listened. At some point she said it was enough now, she had to hear so many stories about Laura, that she had to tell me that she thought Laura was “a great Zwätschge”. That's what she said. “Zwätschge”.
At first she thought Lala was a cool woman, but she was extremely difficult to get along with. Super complex. Extremely demanding. I became one of those people who was willing to let anything happen to them.
I'm not saying Hannah is right. Of course she didn't. Lala is great. But maybe we’ve fallen into a format that simply doesn’t suit us. I told Lala. Maybe we should go back to open relationships, maybe monogamy is the problem, it's more relaxed and fun in the beginning.
Lara immediately agreed, which surprised me and was even a little insulting. Last week showed that we are very different. “I'm more strict and picky,” she said. “Maybe a little Bendsley?”
(I thought: “Chinese!” but said nothing.)
So everything is open again. I have one foot back to my old life. What can I say: it feels good.
So long,
Book
Image: Watson
Big Ben is…
…30s, living in a shared apartment. Surveys show his job ranks among the top ten sexiest jobs women find. He plays football but barely scores a goal (because he's a goalkeeper), he has many sisters, lots of them, and is obviously totally spoiled, but also enlightened (way too soon). He hates dress-up parties, but will dress up as Gandalf if necessary. Ben is single and has no interest in changing that.
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