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Twenty-four years after the publication of his tell-all book Kitchen Confidential, Anthony Bourdain's critique of brunch is still relevant—at least according to our author.
I don’t like socializing late on weekend mornings. Some of you may already know this, as I've talked about it out loud in the past:
In short: I don't want to be socializing at 11am on my day off. I hate having any conversation constantly interrupted (“Hey CHÖNNTISCH, am I going too far?”). I hate prosecco, for some reason I don't understand, it's always lukewarm. Spontaneous brunch wasn’t going to work anyway because all the venues were booked weeks in advance (sorry, no, I don’t know if I’d want to have brunch on a Sunday in three weeks). Alternatively, croissants, scrambled eggs and smoked salmon are nothing irresistible, but not that cool either.
But I know brunch is really popular in this country. The reasons are usually “super comfortable” and/or “super refined”.
But: I don't entirely agree with my point of view. You know who else hates brunch? Chefs.
While the reasons for my distaste are of a personal nature, namely the subjective taste of the consumer, from a kitchen professional's perspective there are real technical, economic and health reasons. The great Anthony Bourdain discusses this in detail in his book Kitchen Confidential (2000), which is part memoir, part investigative report.
To him, brunch is, first and foremost, one thing: mislabeled. According to Bourdain, brunch is “A terrible, cynical way to dump leftovers and charge three times the usual breakfast price”.
«Just a reminder: Brunch is only available twice a week – on weekends. The keyword is: “brunch menu”. Translated: “Old, disgusting leftovers, two eggs for $12, and a free Bloody Mary.”
Anthony Bourdain “Kitchen Confidential”
Anthony BourdainImage: imago stock&people
Of course, you might be thinking by now: it's been over 20 years since Bourdain's book was published, and hopefully things are better today. Also, “In Switzerland…”…yeah, maybe. But think about it—those fancy buttermilk pancakes you ordered at brunch last time cost about 20 Stutz. They mainly consist of flour and milk.
Also: the workforce hates you.
according to a survey kitchen Among waiters and waitresses, brunch is by far the least popular waiter shift. In addition to this, it is said that tips are usually less, or guests always stay too long and are often hungover. Oh yeah, the worst shift in your work schedule is Mother’s Day Brunch, According to Research, Mother’s Day Brunch huffington postovercrowded restaurants, longer wait times, and “uncomfortably tense family dynamics.”
Another burden on service staff is that kitchen staff are often inexperienced and understaffed. For the reasons mentioned above, and since no one likes to wake up early on Saturday and Sunday mornings, the brunch shift is usually reserved for new or inexperienced restaurant staff.
«Chefs hate brunch. The smart chef uses his best chefs on Friday and Saturday nights. Therefore, he won't be willing to use the same chef on Sunday morning – especially as they are likely to be out drinking after get off work on Saturday until the early hours. Even worse, brunch can be demoralizing for a serious cook. Nothing makes an aspiring Escoffier feel like an Army chef or Mel from Mel's Restaurant like serving eggs Benedict to the Sunday brunch crowd. Brunch is off limits to the B-Team chefs. Or a team of former dishwasher apprentices practicing their cooking skills for the first time. Most chefs also have Sundays off, so supervision is kept to a minimum. Consider this before ordering a seafood frittata. “
Anthony Bourdain “Kitchen Confidential”
And, oh yes, quite a few employees were extremely hungover. The brunch shift is notoriously understaffed, especially since it's most likely to be affected by last-minute sick calls.
As a result, we were dealing with what was already one of the most stressful transitions in any restaurant operation, and with a team that was inexperienced, unmotivated, unsupervised, and even hungover. This inevitably results in slower operation and – let’s be honest – easier to forget. Did you order an extra helping of bacon 20 minutes ago? Well, things can get forgotten.
Still think brunch is super cozy?
Oh, and maybe one last detail: hollandaise sauce, anyone?
Image: Shutterstock
Well, not bad! It's officially Eggs Benedict and pairs well with asparagus, which is usually served at fancier brunch buffets. Let's let Anthony speak for the last time:
«Hollandaise sauce? Not for me. Bacteria love hollandaise sauce. Hollandaise sauce is a delicate emulsion of egg yolks and clarified butter that's neither too hot nor too cold so it doesn't break when spooned onto poached eggs. Unfortunately, this lukewarm storage temperature is also the preferred environment for bacteria to mate and reproduce. But no chef I know makes hollandaise sauce from scratch [weil: viel zu arbeitsintensiv und dauert zu lange]. Most likely, what's on your poached eggs was made hours ago and stored at the station. Also disturbing is the fact that the butter used for the hollandaise sauce was most likely leftover melted butter from the table, clarified and strained to remove all crumbs and cigarette butts. You know, butter is expensive, it's a petri dish full of biohazards. “
Anthony Bourdain “Kitchen Confidential”
Still think brunch is great?
#grumpy old man
Baroni and frozen eggs
Video: Watson
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