Best Homer Quotes In The Simpsons

The Simpsons has a reputation as being one of the smartest shows on TV. However, one of the show’s central characters, Homer Simpson, is far from being clever and has gotten into some of the wildest predicaments in the show’s long run.

Homer Simpson is a father who is slow, lazy, greedy, and quick to anger. Despite these flaws, the character still manages to be gentle, kind, and a loving husband and father. However, just because he is a little dumb, it does not stop Homer from offering some attempted pearls of wisdom from time to time. It just so happens that some of these sayings are some of the best quotes The Simpsons have to offer.

8 “He Lied To Us Through Song. I Hate When People Do That”

Season 5: Episode 13 – “Homer and Apu”

After Homer gets Apu fired from his job at the Kwik-E-Mart, the shop owner moves in with the family to get back on his feet. It is here that he starts to learn that he can live without his old job, giving Apu the opportunity to lead the family in a song about how he no longer needs the Kwik-E-Mart.

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However, once the song wraps up, the family is interrupted by a noise on the roof. It turns out Apu is still singing, and he really does still miss the Kwik-E-Mart. This forces Homer to complain, “He lied to us through song. I hate when people do that.” It seems strange that someone would lie during a song, but for it to keep happening gives Homer every right to be mad.

7 “Just Because I Don’t Care Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Understand”

Season 2: Episode 19 – “Lisa’s Substitute”

The season 2 episode, “Lisa’s Substitute,” is a touching story where Lisa develops a crush on her substitute teacher, Mr. Bergstrom. The teacher instills Lisa with the belief that she is special and that she should value her intelligence before having to leave the school for good. Once Lisa has said her sad goodbye, she is understandably sad at the dinner table. This prompts Homer to ask his daughter what is wrong, but she assures him that he won’t understand. In response, Homer provides a line that most fathers would identify with. He says, “Just because I don’t care, doesn’t mean that I don’t understand.” This sentiment is met with Lisa storming off in tears.

The pair do argue and make up, but this episode does highlight how close Homer Simpson is to most real dads, and how he wants to care for his kids when they are upset. He just isn’t smart enough to express that sentiment yet.

6 “Marge, I Swear I Never Thought You’d Find Out”

Season 9: Episode 5 – “The Cartridge Family”

When riots start to break out throughout town, Homer decides it is time to buy a gun to protect his family. Marge is less than impressed with this decision and repeatedly asks her husband to get rid of the firearm. Unfortunately, Homer decides to hide his gun in the freezer instead, where it is found by his son Bart.

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When Marge finds out, Homer says, “Marge, I swear I never thought you’d find out.” This defense of his actions does not go over well but does prove that Homer thinks he is doing the right thing, even if it is for the wrong reasons.

5 “Stupid Sexy Flanders”

Season 11: Episode 10 – “Little Big Mom”

On a ski trip, Homer runs into his least favorite neighbor, Ned Flanders, at the top of a mountain, who is wearing a very revealing outfit. Homer attempts to get away by sliding down the hill but quickly ends up skiing out of control. When trying to correct himself by remembering what his instructor taught him, all Homer can think of is Ned in his ski suit, causing him to shout, “Stupid Sexy Flanders!”

This quote may not be wise or thought-provoking, but it is memorable, and it also led to the creation of one of the funniest moments in the show.

4 “You’ll Have To Speak Up; I’m Wearing A Towel”

Season 5: Episode 12 – “Bart Gets Famous”

The episode, “Bart Gets Famous,” is the show’s way of poking fun at the Bartmania surrounding the show when it first aired. Bart gets a job on The Krusty Show thanks to his new catchphrase, “I didn’t do it.” However, it is Homer who gets one of the funniest lines in the episode.

The school tries to call Homer at work to inform him that Bart has gone missing on a field trip. Homer only just reaches the phone, as he has clearly just gotten out of the shower, and utters the immortal line “You’ll have to speak up; I’m wearing a towel.” It doesn’t make much sense, but it is a fun way to introduce Homer as a concerned parent during this part of the story.

3 “Weaseling Out Of Things Is Important To Learn; It’s What Separates Us From The Animals, Except The Weasel.”

Season 5: Episode 8 – “Boy Scoutz In The Hood”

When Bart drinks a squishee made of pure syrup, he goes on a bender across Springfield and wakes up having joined the boy scouts. This move is detrimental to Bart’s image, and he wants to leave the group. However, he turns to Homer to ask about how it would look if he quit his group straight away.

Fortunately, Homer is prepared with some great advice for anyone who is feeling guilty about sneaking out of their obligations. He says, ‘Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it’s what separates us from the animals, except the weasel.’ It may not be a good quote to associate with character building, however.

2 “Kids, You Tried Your Best And Failed Miserably. The Lesson Is: Never Try”

Season 5: Episode 18 – “Burns’ Heir”

Mr. Burns is looking for an heir, so he can pass on his vast fortune when he eventually passes. To pick a worthy candidate, Burns holds auditions for all the kids in Springfield to prove why they should be chosen. Both Bart and Lisa audition but are cruelly turned down.

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Instead of trying to pick up their spirits though, Homer views this as his chance to pass on some warm wisdom. He says, “Kids, you tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is: Never try.” It’s not exactly the lesson that young children should be taking away from these experiences, but it’s an iconic Homer line nonetheless.

1 “To Alcohol! The Cause Of, And Solution To, All Life’s Problems”

Season Eight: Episode 18 – “Homer Vs. The Eighteenth Amendment”

Homer is forced to act as an illegal beer baron when it is revealed that there has been a prohibition law in Springfield for over two hundred years. While Homer is successful in his new job, he does hand himself to the authorities to help Chief Wiggum get his job back. The punishment for his crimes is being fired out of a catapult. However, the prohibition law is revoked before this can happen.

The re-introduction of alcohol to the town results in a party where Homer makes a toast proclaiming, “To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems.” It is equal parts sad, moving, and true all at once.