A verdict is expected in the Avignon trial next week. During the trial, Giselle Pellicot became a role model for the French women's movement. Image: trapezoid
Giselle Pellicot was raped by her husband and strangers for years. A verdict in the Avignon trial is expected this week. At the beginning of the trial, she made it clear: the perpetrators should be ashamed. What does it mean when shame actually changes sides?
Annika Bangert/ch media
When Gisele Pellicot entered the courthouse, she walked through a hallway filled with applauding people. She hears encouragement: “Courage!” – courage – or “Awesome!”. She walked upright, had a steely gaze, and appeared calm on the outside. After a few weeks of trying them, she stopped wearing round sunglasses with tinted lenses.
Their appearance contrasted sharply with that of the defendant. They hurried into the courtroom with hunched shoulders. Some people try to hide their identities by hiding their faces behind masks, sunglasses and hats pulled low on their faces. In this process, it is clear who is being humiliated.
Gisele Pellicot set out her goal at the beginning of the negotiations: “Shame must change its position.” To do this, she decided to make the most personal and personal matters public. She even allowed her most degrading photos to be shown publicly.
Gisele Pellicot was the victim of one of the largest sex crimes in recent history. A verdict in the Avignon trial is expected this week.
For more than a decade, her then-husband, Dominic Pellicott, regularly drugged her and invited strangers to rape her. He also frequently sexually assaulted her. In addition to Dominique Pelicot, 72, 50 other men are on trial. Their actions were recorded on video.
Giselle Pellicot examines each piece. She decided that, contrary to original plans, the trial should not be held in secret. After years of being powerless, she regains control. As a result, the French woman became an icon in just a few weeks. Women around the world consider her a hero. In her home country, there are Giselle graffiti or “We are all Giselle” demonstrations.
Demonstrations against sexual violence were held in front of the Avignon courthouse where the Pellicot trial was taking place.Image: trapezoid
Some voices even say that times have changed, and the era of shame has changed. Nothing can calm you down more than this feeling. This is one of the most painful emotions because it involves contempt for the self.
Shame is influenced by social conventions
Regine Munz is a psychiatry chaplain at the University of Basel and a theologian who studies shame. “Anyone who feels shame wants to hide, disappear, and ultimately erase themselves,” she said. Shame therefore often leads to violence and aggression: directed at the self, for example when those who feel shame temporarily numb their feelings through alcohol, drugs or self-harm. Or against the outside world—in other words, against other people.
Munz emphasizes that shame comes in many forms. But it has to do with social rules and norms. “If these change, sensitivity to shame will also change,” Munz said. Therefore, shame is also acquired; it is influenced by social and cultural practices. This is where Gisèle Pelicot comes in: “Women come to me all the time and say they admire my courage. I then answer them, it’s not courage, it’s determination. And what brings The will for social change.”
Norms can change. However, shame itself cannot be eliminated. This is ancient. This can be seen by looking at the Bible. Shame has played an important role in prehistory. It resulted in the expulsion of Adam and Eve from heaven. The Bible says: “…and they realized they were naked.” Munz said: “Shame always has to do with being seen. This can be a real expression on the other person's face, or it can be imaginary.” Theologians also Shame itself is not considered negative. Instead, it gives it a protective component. This also includes the right to self-determination about who, what and how one does with one’s body.
Victim shaming is common
Gisele Pellicot and all victims of sexual violence were denied their right to self-determination. This is a serious violation of a person's own dignity. This humiliation triggers feelings of shame. As a Victim Support Counselor, Agota Lavoyer has provided advice and support to countless victims. This year, she published two nonfiction books about sexual violence. “Sometimes it's easier to feel shame than to admit that someone violated us in the most intimate of ways and there's nothing we can do about it,” she says. This is especially true if you've been abused by someone you previously knew and trusted.
There is a second level of shame: shame that comes from the outside. “We live in a society that views people affected by sexual violence as complicit,” Lavoie said. This type of victim blaming, also known as perpetrator-victim reversal, is very common. Cooperate with police and law enforcement authorities in your own environment. It starts with questions like, “Why did you get in this guy's car?” or “Didn't you defend yourself?” might lead the judge to ask: “Wouldn't you have done a better job of keeping your legs together?” This case took place in Chur this autumn.
“Many affected people feel ashamed about not being able to protect themselves because they have heard all their lives that affected people must be able to protect themselves,” Lavoie said. The typical response to sexual assault is not physical resistance. A 2017 Swedish study showed that 70% of rape victims surveyed experienced so-called paralysis, also known as freezing. Screaming or beating is not possible in this survival mode.
However, Lavoie said many of those affected have internalized feelings of guilt. This results in them not recognizing themselves as legitimate victims. This is because they blame themselves, for example because they drank before committing the crime, or because they feel they were naive. This also shows that shame and guilt are closely linked. Both mean those affected often do not talk about the violence they have experienced.
This is nothing new. on the contrary. Historian Elisabeth Joris is a pioneer in the study of Swiss women's history. For her research, she reviewed countless documents from divorce or moral authorities. “There is a long tradition of shaming battered women. The same pattern of arguments has been going on for centuries,” she said. As early as the 19th century, those affected faced judges accusing them of immoral behavior, disrespectful behavior or Careless behavior. “The goal is always the same: to blame the woman.” This in turn exonerates the perpetrator.
Joris stressed that this only applies to cases of extramarital sexual abuse. Prior to 1992, marriage was a crime-free territory in this regard. Marital rape did not previously exist in the law.
The legislation has changed, but the content remains the same: “To this day, the marital bedroom is still considered a private area. “People often think it is too private to talk openly about what happens there,” says Joris. This is exactly what Gisèle Pelicot The approach was revolutionary because she exposed herself, her husband and her marriage publicly. “In doing so, she also shed the shame of her marital bed conditions,” Joris said.
She was convinced that if Pellicott didn't reveal his identity and show up, it would leave room for speculation. This means: there is no way she has not noticed something over the years. In other words: What kind of woman would choose such a man? This brings us back to the question of complicity.
devaluation in court
Agota Lavoie also confirmed this. She said: “Giselle Pellico is absolutely right to receive unconditional support from society. These will benefit all victims. But you don't understand.” To emphasize the point, Lavalie added: “We all know, If Giselle Pellicot were a sex worker, things would have turned out differently. She might still have support from certain social circles, but she would never have experienced the global wave of solidarity.
But even Gisele Pellicot had to hear a lot of put-downs: The criminal defense tried to get weird with her because of her sex toys. The wife of one defendant said if her husband really wanted to rape a woman, he would choose someone prettier than Gisele Pellico. One lawyer even accused her of exhibitionism. Confronted with the latter, the 72-year-old angrily said: “I now understand why rape victims rarely press charges – it's shameful to accuse me of such a thing!”
In the vast majority of sex crimes, it is a case of statement versus statement. The burden of proof to provide video of every act of abuse makes the Pellicott case particularly special. That's why enthusiasm for Gisele Pellicot also comes with risks. For example, their brave appearance is becoming the new norm. Agotta Lavoie said: “For her, criminal prosecution is the right path. But we must realize that for many of those affected, this is simply not possible.
Sociologist: 'Men are deeply ashamed'
But what actually happens when shame actually changes sides? Or to put it another way: Do men only feel shame when sexual assault becomes public? “Of course not,” Marcus Tenat said. The psychologist and sociologist leads “menschen.ch”, the Swiss umbrella organization for men's and fathers' organizations. He said: “Men are so ashamed of their helplessness that they can only respond with violence, but they suppress it very well. That is to say: the shame is great, but the defense against shame is even greater.” This is why shame has to change its stance so that men can actually perceive and allow it, rather than using force to push the feeling away. Whether it's through alcohol or a new crime.
Tenat said men must ultimately look at the structural dimensions of sexual violence. Instead, they use the classic index finger strategy. As far as that goes: most people are generally peaceful, but there are some scapegoats who do terrible things. This is unhelpful and simply wrong. “Violence is not inherent in human nature, it is inherent in the development of masculinity,” Tenat said.
Our culture also has demands for masculinity that are harmful to health and promote violence. Theunert gave an example: Real men don't cry, don't suffer, and solve problems by themselves. However, these requirements are unattainable. For example, it is simply impossible to never be sad.
This also means: “Boys quickly notice that they are failing because of the demands of masculinity, and they become ashamed of themselves for not being enough.” It is this shame that becomes a powerful driver of violence. Violence is also directed against women. Because shame also has a lot to do with power. Anyone who humiliates and dominates others can avoid their own shame. (aargauerzeitung.ch/nzu)
