Wanda, Wonder Woman, having fun

Emma Love

One of the things I don't really like is Pärli dinner dates. I've been trotting again recently. And meet a woman who can do anything. Except be nice.

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When Wanda opened the door, I wondered if we were in Wisteria Lane and if that was a younger version of Bree Van de Kamp smiling down at us.

Young Bree has perfect hair. And perfect eyebrows. The makeup on the lips is spot on. She was wearing a shirt, leggings, and of course ballet shoes.

Her voice was high. I guess it's her host's voice. I know this from a lot of women. When they talk to colleagues on the phone, their voices rise several octaves higher. It's even worse if they talk to potatoes.

But the voice of the mistress was strange to me. Bree is not called Bree. She held out her manicured hands and introduced herself as Wanda. Wanda belongs to Sandro's colleague Tomas, and he had wanted to invite us for a long time.

Wanda is engaging in subtle chocolate cake humiliation here

We said we would bring dessert. We bought it quickly on the way. The wine we brought was very good wine. I think. I once received it from a guest who loved luxury. So, let’s say this is a great guest gift to give.

Wanda faked a smile. She asked if the cake needed to be refrigerated. What do I know? Yes, yes, I said. Am I sure? Yes, yes.

You can’t go wrong with chocolate cake. Even if you did it yourself, Wanda said with a wink.

OK Wanda Haoab. Wanda.

I smile. She smiled. Sandro smiled.

Hey. Ha ha.

Damn night.

Then Thomas came. Red jeans, white Ralph Lauren polo shirt. It's always interesting how out of place Sandro is in this world and how much they love him, or maybe because of it.

Had great aperitifs. I do everything myself. Rude than anything I've seen in “Swiss Diner”. Exclusive pastries on any pie. Then more pastry and homemade sauce to spread on whatever you come up with.

Wanda beam. She is waiting for praise. Okay, I said. Sandro nodded in agreement. Wanda wants to tell you how she prepares everything. But Thomas wanted to talk about other things. Wanda felt stupid.

Do I want to tour the house. Do I have a choice? Of course I didn't.

So I looked at all of Wanda’s own paintings. And all the pillowcases she sewed. And all the decorations she made herself. And the clean, organized kitchen she had laid out.

Netflix, partying and sex, right?

Wow, I said. Very good, Wanda. Wanda beam. She has always been very creative. Of course, she also does pottery. Everything I see comes from her.

Wanda asked me what my hobbies were. I don't. Read a book, I said. “What am I reading?” Wanda asked. Celebrity magazines, I said with a smile. She smiled painfully.

Do I like cooking. No, zero, I said. What connection does Sandro have with me? travel? sports? Hiking?

Netflix, great parties and sex, I thought. And nude swimming. Hiking, I say. Great, Wanda thought. We can go together if we have time.

Uh, I said.

Then we had to go back to the restaurant. She must finish the meal. Wanda prepared us an extremely blatant five-course meal.

Thomas proudly patted her knee again and again. He said there was no way he could marry his Wanda, a better person. Wanda and Thomas kiss, of course, as they toast each other.

I am fully aware that in the 1940s, when Sandro and I lived, such nights were completely normal. But man, I hate it. Hate everything about it. I feel totally uncomfortable. I don’t like Wanda, I don’t like all Wandas, and all Wandas don’t like me.

I, Emma Amour, am looking forward to living with SSMSS! <3

But there are beautiful things about nights like this. They remind us why our lives are so haphazard. We haven't found an apartment together yet.

Like a shared hobby.

Except for cold drinks, drinks and a lot of touching in the cinema.

I asked Sandro, are you so happy now? “Very much,” he said. The only thing he longed for was a shared apartment.

When the time comes, the palace arrives. I'm sure of this. I'm looking forward to this.

Oh, I actually wrote it. And it feels huge.

I, Emma Amour, am looking forward to staying in the apartment with Drunk SMS Sandro. I'm looking forward to our kitchen, but we barely use it. Except sex. There is also a coffee machine.

Take this, Wanda.

Sincerely,
Emma

Image: Watson