A young father has opened up about his debilitating struggle after giving birth and stress that left him 'crying uncontrollably' on the floor every night.
Australian radio producer Jack Post shared his story with The Imperfects podcast hosts brothers Hugh and Josh Van Kuylenburgh and comedian Ryan Sheldow on Monday.
The Hamish and Andy star said he felt 'shame and guilt' after he and his wife Bianca welcomed their two-year-old son Gordon.
The 36-year-old broke down in tears as she revealed the thoughts she had moments after her son was born.
'He's the best. He was a bright, funny, smiling, curious, legend. I absolutely love being his dad. But there was a period – a few months to a year – I can't tell,' Jack said.
'After he was born, I had postnatal depression.'
Gordon was born in 2022, and it took the radio star somewhere between a few months and the first year of his son's life to heal psychologically.
“I no longer associate this story with shame, but there was a lot of shame involved,” he said.
Hamish and Andy radio star Jack Post has opened up about his debilitating battle with postnatal depression, which left him 'crying uncontrollably' on the floor every night.
'While he was fine, healthy and full, I wasn't. I didn't know then that it was post-natal depression and I wasn't quite ready to get it.'
Jack gasped as he made vulnerable expressions to the three male patrons.
'Hearing him cry was like poison to me. “I really wanted to be a great father, a great husband and go to work,” he said.
'I experienced what's called postnatal depression, which I didn't know new fathers could get. Bianca, who I know there, thought that something we should be concerned about was the high rate of postpartum depression among new mothers, and I realized that.
“I felt like Bianca was the one who did all the work, she brought him into the world, she went through the pregnancy and delivery, I was the one who was depressed and crying on the floor. I felt so humiliated.'
The radio star said she's sharing her story in hopes of reaching someone who needs to hear it.
The Hamish and Andy star said he felt 'shame and guilt' after he and his wife Bianca welcomed their two-year-old son Gordon.
Jack didn't experience the full weight of stress until months after his son was born, but he revealed he had 'deeply restless' thoughts from the moment he arrived.
“The thing I heard before becoming a father was that this baby will be born, you'll hold them in your arms, and you'll feel love like you've never felt in your life,” he said.
'When he was born, I remember seeing him and the first thing I thought was “Wow, he looks just like me. He's like a little baby version of me,” and there was something deeply disturbing about that.
While Jack was excited, Gordon arrived safe and sound, Bianca was fine, and the 'crazy amount of love' everyone had been telling him he would feel for his new baby didn't come.
Jack didn't experience the full weight of depression until months after his son was born, but from the moment he arrived he exhibited 'deeply restless' thoughts.
Jack said that despite outwardly 'saying all the right things' to friends and family, 'I didn't feel what I was supposed to feel'.
Jack said some nights he would sit alone on the floor of Gordon's nursery with his head between his knees and 'cry uncontrollably'.
“I felt like I was seeing a smaller version of myself, and he didn't like it,” Jack added.
His plan is to sit with those feelings and wait for love to come. But as days, weeks and months passed, his health deteriorated.
Although Jack tells Bianca that he feels his connection to their son is not as strong as hers, he has yet to admit that he is depressed.
Jack said that some nights he would sit alone on the floor of Gordon's nursery with his head between his knees 'sobbing uncontrollably'.
She said she struggled to open up about her depression to those close to her for fear of being a 'burden' and cried in a radio studio because she 'didn't have the strength to hide it'.
Jack's family, friends and co-workers saw him struggling before he did, and his co-worker, Christian, insisted that Jack take two weeks off work to recover.
Jack said that through his experience, he had a 'deeper empathy' for people, better communication with his wife and friends, and became closer to people he opened up about his mental health struggles.
A meta-analysis of clinical studies found that one in 10 men experience prenatal and postpartum anxiety.
This compares with one in seven women experiencing postpartum depression.
The findings were published in 2021, but it is rarely acknowledged that men can also suffer from the condition.
Source link
