Each week of the NFL season brings plenty of new questions… and answers some old ones, too. Let's recap what we learned in week 6… and what we'll reflect on in week 7 and beyond.
ASKED: Could you get a worse birthday present for Jerry Jones?
What can you buy a football plutocrat for his 82nd birthday? Well, if you're the Dallas Cowboys, you scoop up a big, steaming pile of dog shit, throw it into an old pizza box, wrap it in a silver and blue ribbon, and throw it right to his front door. That's exactly what the Cowboys did for Jerry Jones on Sunday. lost to the Detroit Lions in a 47-9 defeat, somehow it wasn't even that close. The Cowboys have the highest-paid player and the widest and most engaged fan base in the league, and yet they are unable to put a decent product on the field, week after week, year after year. Half the league literally doesn't remember the last time the Cowboys won a Super Bowl because it happened before they were born.
But before we go too far with “look how those terrible Cowboys treated poor old Jerruh!”, well – who hired these guys? Who signs their checks? Jones has been insisting for years that he's in “win now” mode, and yet it's clear that the people in the building aren't winning right now. Jones doesn't have the patience for a complete rebuild, and considering the money he could spend, he shouldn't. The problem is that pointing fingers is easy; making the necessary changes is very, very difficult. The reasons for Dallas' problems are many and varied, but it all starts with Jones and ends with him.
To put it another way: when even the Detroit Lions are clowning you, it's time to rethink your entire worldview.
ANSWER: Well, so much for the Saints
Hey, remember the entire second week when everyone… including, well, us – was he saying that the Saints offense led by Klint Kubiak was going to revolutionize the game and it's a safe bet that it would continue into January? Yeah, it was a fun week, right? It turns out that on any given week in the NFL, anyone can accomplish more. The Saints started rookie Spencer Rattler on Sunday and lost star guard Chris Olave on his first reception, but that wasn't enough to justify the total beating — 51-27 — that the Buks inflicted on New Orleans on Sunday. The Saints didn't manage to score until the second quarter and were unable to stop Tampa Bay at all. When you give up series 17 I 27 points in a row, something is definitely wrong.
Between the Bucs and Falcons in their own division and the four-headed beast that is the NFC North, there isn't much postseason left for New Orleans right now. Ah, well. It was nice that the Saints had sleep for a week.
ASKED: How far can the Packers go?
I feel like we're going to spend the entire season discussing the monster that is the NFC North, the most successful league at this point in the season in decades. Detroit, Minnesota, Chicago, Green Bay – would you want to play any of these teams right now? Rationalization to lower the league's profile – Minnesota is smoke and mirrors, the league will solve the Caleb Williams case, Detroit instead of Detroit – that's what it is.
Despite this, the best bet for the division crown is currently the Packers, thanks to the combination of Jordan Love's healed team, an extensive and young squad and a strong coaching/office infrastructure. The Cardinals nearly tripling their appearances Sunday is another accomplishment for their upcoming season. We're already looking ahead to Week 9, when the Lions travel to Green Bay. This will be great fun.
ANSWER: The Titans are screwed
Have you ever been through a breakup and watched your ex immediately move on to an objectively better life? That kind of sucks, right? This is what Tennessee is suffering right now with Derrick Henry thriving in Baltimore while the Titans are 1-4 to start the season. Tennessee's only win came two weeks ago against the Tua-less Dolphins, and there's little to suggest this team could compete in the SEC, much less the AFC South. In Sunday's loss to Indianapolis, Will Levis threw for 95 yards – no, there's no missing number at the beginning of that number – and the only bright spot on offense was Tony Pollard, who ran for 93 yards and a touchdown. Calvin Ridley complained that he didn't throw balls at him, but he may be taking the wrong approach here; if you don't show up in the box results, you can simply deny that you were ever associated with this garbage fire.
ASKED: Is there a worse feeling than a touchdown negated by a flag?
In the middle of Sunday's loss, the Lions decided to give themselves time and ran sideways to face Penei Sewell. How often does a tackle have a chance to score a touchdown? Almost never! And yet look here:
Unfortunately, the touchdown (or almost a touchdown, his knee was probably down) was called back due to an ineligible player “downfield” – that is, more than one yard behind the line of scrimmage. A flag removes a touchdown from the board.
Of course, it wasn't unique this week. Every week you'll see great long pass plays or spectacular touchdowns nullified by the strictest of rules – whether it's a timeout from the action or an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for a bit of jaw-dropping.
Rules are rules, of course; sometimes this holding is, for example, a consequence of interrupting the game. But when the punishment doesn't fit the crime, well, that's aesthetically unpleasant. Although I really love it when the cameras focus on a player who, for example, has just made a 75-yard touchdown run, only to see his reflection as a muscular teammate hits an uncommitted defender 75 yards away. Keeping your true feelings in check in moments like these requires Oscar-level acting.
One more reason why the NFL should adopt my “yes, it was illegal, but it looked cool so we'll allow it” rule to replace the flag.
ANSWER: Washington shows that there is life after bad ownership
The Washington football franchise spent a quarter of a century in ownership hell, with fans and players alike suffering under Daniel Snyder's capricious, arrogant regime that placed blame for generational failure everywhere but where it really was. Snyder is already out the door and wouldn't you know it, Washington is suddenly a resurgent franchise. It's true that Washington has a long way to go before returning to the days of Joe Gibbs, John Riggins and the Hogs, which featured plenty of arch-rivals, but this franchise has already come a long way in just a few games post-Snyder. Sunday's loss to Baltimore at the I-95 Bowl was tough, but not unexpected given Baltimore's talent, and Washington has put forth a greater effort this year than at any point in the 2000s. Franchising arouses legitimate emotions, and no one in Burgundy wonders how owning a business will embarrass them.
See, Karolina? There is still hope for you.
ASKED: Are the Bengals a good team with a bad streak or a bad team with occasional good moments?
This is what we saw during Sunday's Bengals-Giants game – a Cincinnati team that was talented and opportunistic, taking advantage of their opponent's mistakes to spice up the game… and a team that couldn't shake the damn New York Giants until the final two minutes of the game . The Bengals are 2-4, but it feels like they should be a lot better. If you have a QB receiver combination that can do this:
…you should be winning more than two games in the first third of the season. The Bengals have a pulse, but they wouldn't let Sunday's game get out of hand. This is the razor's edge they will be walking on for weeks to come.
ANSWER: The Jaguars should just change their name and stay in Europe
Jacksonville is in the midst of a back-to-back streak in London that started with a miserable loss to Chicago on Sunday and will end in a nail-biting pillow fight against New England next week. It's even possible that owner Shad Khan would even bother to send a plane to take them back to America. Suggestion for Jags – get ahead of the competition. Become a Cold War spy – get a fake passport, change your name, disappear to Europe and let the world forget you ever existed. It will be easier for everyone this way.
