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'My father passed away at home. It was better for him and for us.

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'My father passed away at home. It was better for him and for us.

Today, October 12, the World Palliative Care Day. In an emotional report, press officer Paula Milagres tells reporter Erem Carla how the last days of palliative care were like, her father Paulo, who died hand in hand with her, her mother Conceição and her sister Livia.




20 days before his death, on a trip requested by Paulo, Paulo, Paulo, Conceição and Livia went to Serra da Peteate (MG).

Photo: Private collection

“My father was diagnosed with abdominal liposarcoma in April 2019 at the age of 66. From the first moment, the doctor made it clear that it was a cancer that could not be treated conventionally. Whenever it reappears, surgery is required. And so he was.

He underwent two surgeries in 2019, one in 2020 and another in 2021. In the last operation, due to his already very weak health, he was recommended to start palliative treatment, which lasted for two months.

My family and I were not surprised, the doctors were always very clear with us about his condition, diagnosis and limited treatment options. Despite the unfavorable prognosis, we understand that palliative care is necessary to give him the best quality of life.

We have no worries or fears.

My father was aware of his condition and his true condition. The opportunity to receive specialized care at home gave him greater security, knowing that he was constantly being looked after by a team of doctors, nutritionist, nurse, psychologist and physiotherapist. This also reassured us as we were by his side throughout his illness.

They shared everything with him and our family. Palliative care focuses on individual attention. Physiotherapists come and my dad has days when he doesn't feel like exercising. On these occasions, the session became a friendly conversation, always conducted with great care and affection, so that he was welcomed even in a moment of irreversible health.

During the pandemic, we had already changed our entire household routine to accommodate him. Initially, he was fine, but after the 2020 surgery, his mobility was compromised and he used a walker for a few months. Diet was also modified due to radiotherapy to avoid discomfort. We did our best to ease your discomfort.

After the 2021 surgery, there was a need for palliative care, and we already had a regular routine at home. The family took care of him and after the surgery, we had the support of a palliative care team including doctors, physiotherapists, nutritionists, nurses, psychologists and geriatricians.

The professionals were always pleasant to talk to, responded immediately to any physical or psychological discomfort he experienced, were available to assist him in the best possible way, and adjusted their schedules at delicate moments. It made him feel deeply loved.

He knew we were there and we stayed by his side until the end.

In the month he died, he was already so tired that he couldn't eat anymore, and we already knew, including our conversations with experts, that his time would soon come. But we realized that the end of his life was near, especially in the last 10 days, marked by panic attacks, increasing appetite and difficulty breathing.

My father passed away at home. We chose to bring in a ventilator and have nursing technicians and doctors by our side to monitor his condition at home. He stopped eating completely the day before his death. The entire time, he took the medication without any pain or discomfort. We knew that moment was coming.



Paulo and Conceição with their daughters Paula and Livia

Paulo and Conceição with their daughters Paula and Livia

Photo: Private collection

We did what we could professionally and emotionally. Although death is a painful process, we know that it brings relief to what he is feeling. Even though he was not fully conscious, he knew we were there and we stayed by his side until the end.

The expression 'in sickness and in health' is very strong. Being by your loved ones side during pain is fundamental and the greatest demonstration of care you can give. We had an outside doctor's recommendation for him to go to the hospital, but after talking to the home care team about what happened, they agreed with our conclusion that he would have enough support at home and the family would always be together. , to the end.

He passed away holding hands with me, my mother and my younger sister. It was better for him and for us.

The most important thing is that he received complete care in his own time and with all attention, without leaving the comfort of his home. We have fully prepared a team to deal with this kind of situation. This is a very exciting one. It affected the way my father lived his last days and he had 100% support. As much as death is a mystery to those who leave, he felt supported throughout the process.

The family loves, but lacks the knowledge needed to provide the care, attention and quality of life that palliative care professionals do. If you can, choose it. It's another way to show love to the patient and to make them realize they don't need to be afraid because they're being cared for in the best possible way.”

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