I was a Wimbledon referee for 40 years. They could have said machines will do the job next year, Wendy Smith

DSay everyone remembers their first Wimbledon, but mine was so far away that it's a bit of a blur. It was 1982, the year Jimmy Connors beat John McEnroe, and I had a ticket to Center Court. But the opening week itself was special for me: it was my first Wimbledon officiating, and I've umpired all but two matches there since. So when I heard on Wednesday that the competition is replacing us with an electronic line calling tax judges, I was devastated. It hurt even more because I only found out when it was reported on the news and my phone started pinging with people asking how I was feeling.

I used to play a lot of tennis when I was younger and when you play junior tournaments you referee each other's matches. During a match at Wembley sponsored by Benson & Hedges, I saw an advert for the expert. The Tennis Umpires Federation (PTUF) is inviting new members and I thought I'd give it a go. I had about 30 minutes of training at the Queen's Club in West London and I was in. The PTUF was then run by ex-servicemen and they were very particular about how you stood, sat and went to court. They will not tolerate any harassment.

Until recently, we only spent money on going to games and hosting tournaments, so line judges loved the game of tennis and did our jobs. You progress through different local events and are graded by the chair umpire until eventually you are deemed good enough for Wimbledon – the dream. Some colleagues have told me this week that they won't bother renewing their licenses because they can't aim to officiate at Wimbledon, so I worry that smaller tournaments will soon struggle to find line judges.

I imagine the All England Club made this decision because the players wanted the consistency of computerized results – although many of them didn't want the hawk-eye it came in with. We definitely follow the traditions of tennis – I think we show the court fully dressed. Spectators can learn a lot about the game by watching debates between a line judge and a chair umpire. All that will be lost.

I'm not saying we never make mistakes – we're human after all. But we hold ourselves to very high standards. You have to be completely impartial – even if you're ready for Andy Murray to win his first Wimbledon and you want him to win, no one wants to be his match point out. (We were lucky Novak Djokovic hit the ball into the net so we didn't have to.) Or the year Andre Agassi was playing pot rafters and I was under the royal box on the center line. Agassi swore and I had to go and complain to the chair, and I suddenly realized it was a long way to walk with the whole crowd staring at me.

I'm sad to think that I won't have a moment like that again. I can't stand on center court. I wish they had told us before the tournament this year so we would have had a chance to say goodbye. I've always loved tennis, but I can't bear to go to Wimbledon as a spectator now. It will not have the same situation.

As Katie told Guest